Break.

 “John?” I called after him. I had never seen him quite so hurt. I never seen his eyes begin to fill with the liquid of tears. I began to run after him.

“Just friends?” he snarled.

“He kissed me! I didn't kiss him!” I said.

“You didn't stop it”, he said.

I didn't answer him. Deep down, I knew that he was right. I knew that what we had was broken, and it was all my fault. Now, I had to pay for my action. My actions destroyed a soul, a relationship, a way of life. My life with John, was ending.

“You're not saying anything because you know I'm right and you're wrong, right? You know what you did was wrong! Yet you chose to do this anyway. Alexis, you really hurt me! I can't even look at you!”

“John, I'm sorry”, I said between sobs.

He looked at me and didn't say anything. For the first time in our relationship, we were suddenly two separate souls instead of a together one. This was like the one thread that was pulled, and now that it was pulled, it was falling apart. It was like everything that was meant something would be gone forever.

I blew it. I knew I did. I was the home-wrecking husband, and he was the housewife that stayed at home tending to the house.

“You know Alexis, I thought you loved me”, he said.

“I do love you!” I pleaded.

“Then why was your lips on top of his? You looked like you were enjoying it, too. You didn't stop him. Ever since you've started college, you've changed. It's like you've turned into this new girl with a new life, and you've forgotten about me.”

“Why haven't you said something?” I asked.

“Because you deserve to grow. I always thought we would grow together. But, we're growing apart.”

“I love you”, was all that I could manage to say.

“I know you did.”

“Did?” I hissed.

“I don't think you love me anymore.”

“I think that's the stupidest think that I ever heard.”

“But that's how I feel. Are you saying that my feelings are stupid?”

“No. I just meant that it's farther then the truth”, I said.

“But, Alexis, it's true. At least look at things from where I'm standing. You hardly call me anymore. You promised me that you're going to be home every weekend, yet you only went home once. You text me, and even then it's like it was forced. It's like you want out, yet you want me to stick around.”

I didn't say anything. He was right, and I knew it.

“So..what do you want to do?” I asked. I braced myself for his answer.

“Well, I don't want to be in a relationship with a girl who doesn't love me or want to be with me. Or has time for me.”

“So, are you saying that we should break up?” I said. I already knew the answer. It's like when the teacher gives you back a test that you know that you've flunked. You knew it was coming, yet you hoped for the best.

He nodded. “Don't you? Alexis, we're different people then we were when we started dating.”

I nodded. “Yes. You don't have your long hair anymore.”

He laughed. “Well there's that. But, it's more then that. We're not connected anymore. It's like you and I are on totally different wavelengths of the spectrum. We've grown. I don't want to stand in your way. I want you to live and to be happy.”

“And you don't think I'm going to be happy with you?” I asked.

“I know I would be holding you back. And I love you way too much to see that happen”, he said.

I said nothing.

“I will always love you, Alexis”, he said. He kissed me on the cheek.

“I will always love you too”, I whispered.

“I guess I better go. I have a long drive ahead of me.”

“I guess you should”, I said, trying to mask my pain.

“So this is it”, John said.

“Yup.” I didn't know what to say. I never thought this day would come, although sometimes that we've come close. Now that it has, I wasn't sure of what my feelings were or would be. All I knew that nothing in my life would ever be the same again.

“Is it cheesy and cliché to ask you if you want to be friends?”

“Not really. However I don't think it's a good idea that we're friends. At least for now”, he said. Then he drove off, the last string of my old life falling apart. I wanted to run after him, but I realized that if it was truly worth having, then I wouldn't have to chase after it. Instead, I just stood on the grass on a cold fall day and cried. It felt like there was a hole in my chest, and a giant pit of dispair growing in the bottom of my stomach. Little did I know that wouldn't go away.